In Her Fathers Eyes

 


There she sat by his bedside holding his hand remembering the dreams he helped her achieve,
Praying to God that her father would not have to leave.

Tears fall to the floor as she sees him fading away,
Trying to brave for all those who do not have the strength.

She is a rock ,though crumbling deep inside, bring us through this to God she cried.
Don't take this man who snuggled me after waking in the middle of the night because the moster came into my room!

Leave him here to share the memories of my youth, teaching me to dance, teaching me to love. He is not ready, she clutches her hands, and quietly whispers as he breathes that final breath, I am not ready.....

Now she has a photo and memories in her heart that bring back better days filled with laughter and peace.
Telling her children of the memories she had and carrying on his legacy..

At night she holds the picture that is fading away asking God to restore that which is fading again.  Smudge on the back he daddy had written

"When the world is cold, wrap yourself in my love",
"When you feel alone look to heaven and know that I am there dancing with you",
"When the monsters come into your room, remember the strength I used to defeat them, you now possess the strength to move mountains, even though you may not see it nestled deep in your heart. "
Love Daddy.


Original Poem by Angeline Buntin
Nov 18, 2015

Unworthy ( Original Poem)

                                                                   

Unworthy

You look around for a place to hide, 

Noone every knowing the tears your eyes have cried. 

Whether its death or hurt that has brought you here

 you cling to that which makes the pain go away, that of which you fear. 

  

If only I knew when I was a young girl, the Lord above whom I know today.

Never perfect am I, but always striving to be that which you have called me to be. 

As a mom, I struggle ,as I scream and feel defeated more times than not, 

As a wife, who the approval of my beloved I have always sought. 

Gift to me Lord on this day you gave, to love and embrace the path you set before me, 

Not that I may always conqour every endeavor perfectly, 

Only that I never give up on trying to reach my full potential in your loving eyes. 

Unworthy is this soul of your infinite love or kingdom, only asking humbly that you take pity on this soul who has fought her way through strife to do the right thing.  

This child who you formed and know intimately and still love. 

Written by Angeline Buntin

Nov 18, 2015

A Day of Thankfulness... Laugh

Lets face it, in our lives we live in a world of not good enough. However, I, who am guilty of this thought most days know deep down that my life is not just good enough, but better than I deserve. When I was a child I wanted kids, even having hardly any experience caring for them, just knowing I wanted them, I felt this desire grow and grow as I became older. I had my son in 2011 who as such an amazing blessing, that looking back, sleep deprived days, poopy diapers,and having to discipline/love him has been totally worth it. I find it even more true when I see my other two sons and experience the same things with them, times two.
   I prayed for lots of kids when I was a young child, not knowing the work it involved, and when I learned of my second pregnancy I did pray for twins, because I desperately wanted more than 2 kids. God answered prayers and 16 months later seeing all 3 of my boys when I return home from a much needed break whether it is church/shopping/singing, humbles me and I realize that is the true blessing. Their little faces light up, and I hear their laughter, and see the excitement in their faces. This reminds me yea your exhausted, but I am beyond blessed. These gifts were bestowed upon my husband and me to raise and bring up loving God and one day reaching eternal life in Heaven.

 I have felt like a failure lately because I gauge my job as a mother on what society says is acceptable for my children, whether developmental, and educational. Yet, if you break down what is truly important these things are not as important as the legacy they will leave as children of God. If my children learn anything from their mom, I want them to learn she was a woman who loved God. I want them to see that I struggled, but my struggles as a mom/wife/child of God only strengthened my love for God. I want them to remember mommys love and yes mommys laughter. Laughter I believe is something God gives us in order to break the hardness left by an uncaring world. So when they are finding life too difficult I'll tell them to do what always made their mommy happy...... Laugh a Lot