Lets face it, in our lives we live in a world of not good enough. However, I, who am guilty of this thought most days know deep down that my life is not just good enough, but better than I deserve. When I was a child I wanted kids, even having hardly any experience caring for them, just knowing I wanted them, I felt this desire grow and grow as I became older. I had my son in 2011 who as such an amazing blessing, that looking back, sleep deprived days, poopy diapers,and having to discipline/love him has been totally worth it. I find it even more true when I see my other two sons and experience the same things with them, times two.
I prayed for lots of kids when I was a young child, not knowing the work it involved, and when I learned of my second pregnancy I did pray for twins, because I desperately wanted more than 2 kids. God answered prayers and 16 months later seeing all 3 of my boys when I return home from a much needed break whether it is church/shopping/singing, humbles me and I realize that is the true blessing. Their little faces light up, and I hear their laughter, and see the excitement in their faces. This reminds me yea your exhausted, but I am beyond blessed. These gifts were bestowed upon my husband and me to raise and bring up loving God and one day reaching eternal life in Heaven.
I have felt like a failure lately because I gauge my job as a mother on what society says is acceptable for my children, whether developmental, and educational. Yet, if you break down what is truly important these things are not as important as the legacy they will leave as children of God. If my children learn anything from their mom, I want them to learn she was a woman who loved God. I want them to see that I struggled, but my struggles as a mom/wife/child of God only strengthened my love for God. I want them to remember mommys love and yes mommys laughter. Laughter I believe is something God gives us in order to break the hardness left by an uncaring world. So when they are finding life too difficult I'll tell them to do what always made their mommy happy...... Laugh a Lot
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